The Gift of Teaching

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Teaching is often seen as a gift, a chance to share knowledge and see others grow. It’s a calling that comes from deep within, driven by the desire to help others succeed and make meaningful changes in their lives. I’ve always taken pride in giving the “gift of teaching” to many people in my life—from my separated wife and her family to my daughter, friends, and other family members. I’ve gone beyond words and invested in trainings, financially and with resources, goodwill, and endorsements, offering everything I can to help others move forward. But lately, this calling has left me feeling lost.

This article isn’t a rant or a frustration-filled reflection; rather, it’s an invitation for others to take a closer look at the gifts they’re given. Teaching is a two-way journey, and the responsibility of using the knowledge lies equally with the student. Without that mutual commitment, teachers risk burning out. Each student has a part to play, to work on the gifts given to them, so that the process remains rewarding for both sides.

A Realization on the Impact of Teaching

Reflecting on those I’ve mentored/Coached/Guided and more, I realize only a handful have truly taken the teachings to heart and succeeded. For some, the knowledge has been transformative. Others, however, have used what they’ve learned in ways I never intended, even for purposes that concern me. But the biggest surprise is the number of people who see teaching as a temporary boost, getting just enough to feel accomplished without pursuing the full depth of growth and finding their true journey to success.

Initially, I questioned myself. Was my training inadequate? Am I a poor coach? But I’ve come to realize that this isn’t a question of the quality of teaching. The few who have achieved meaningful success show that the knowledge is there, but it needs commitment. So I’ve shifted my perspective from my own performance to understanding why people receive teaching so differently. I’ve come to ask, Is it I who want to see them succeed more than they themselves do?.

I was once directly told, Ray, you see more hope in me, than i see in myself? …. i didnt know what to reply.

When Effort Becomes One-Sided

It’s challenging to care deeply about others’ success, especially when that drive isn’t reciprocated. Often, I find myself more invested in their success than they seem to be. They rely on me to push, nag, or plead with them to take action, but show little initiative on their own. It’s exhausting to be the one with the vision, always ready to help, yet having to drag them to take meaningful steps forward.

Teaching should be a partnership. In some cases, it’s become one-sided, and this has led me to question whether I should limit the number of people I invest in. How do I judge who is genuinely keen, who may misuse the knowledge, who isn’t interested, and who just isn’t ready to learn?

Why Teachers Need to See Outcomes

For teachers, mentors, and anyone who gives of themselves, seeing outcomes matters. Teaching requires patience and care, but it’s also natural to want to see our efforts take root and grow in others. When there’s no clear outcome or commitment from students, teaching becomes tiring rather than fulfilling. It’s not just about avoiding frustration; it’s about preserving the value of what’s being given. As John Maxwell said, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” But if those being led refuse to follow, it’s necessary to step back and reflect on how to better use that energy. or should we just randomly fertilize the mind, and leave it to the world to do its part?

Setting Boundaries for Purposeful Teaching

The value of teaching is fully realized when the student is ready to take the reins. Moving forward, I’m learning that setting boundaries doesn’t make the teaching any less valuable; it ensures that the knowledge is respected. By choosing mentees who show commitment and motivation, I can focus on those who want to create something meaningful with what they’re given. Teaching isn’t about saving everyone; it’s about empowering those who will carry the knowledge forward with respect.

To Those Given the Gift of Teaching: An Invitation

For those reading this, my invitation is to truly value the gifts you’re given. Teachers and mentors have a finite reserve of time, energy, and resources. When they give, they hope to see it grow. Take the initiative, nurture the knowledge, and bring it to life. Teaching is an act of generosity, but it’s also a call for responsibility. When you’re given a gift, it’s yours to develop and to pursue it seriously.

Conclusion: Finding Balance in Teaching

The gift of teaching is precious, but it requires mutual commitment to remain rewarding. This is not about giving less; it’s about giving wisely. If you’re a teacher or mentor, know that it’s okay to set limits. If you’re a student, embrace what you’re given and make the most of it. This reflection isn’t meant to discourage teaching or learning, but rather to encourage a more thoughtful approach that keeps the journey meaningful for everyone involved.

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